Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize