Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he thought i was a dude.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
