But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
