In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
