she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
