Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
