so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
