You really coming over, don't trick.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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