Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
