I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
