i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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