i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
