Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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