Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
