I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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