I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize