Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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