I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
