don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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