Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
