i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
