I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I believe in your delicious
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
