is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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