Kiss
Puke
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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