dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
