Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so let's talk penis.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
