Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize