Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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