This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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