If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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