I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
