Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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