I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
