And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
