wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
