lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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