do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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