Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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