shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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