she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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