there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
