69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
