ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
