highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So much rum. So many feels.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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