But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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