It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
