i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
