How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
