is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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