I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
