just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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