Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
