youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
