I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
