sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
