My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
