I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize