I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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