look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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